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The Latest YEMDS hit single: To My Secret Lover (hint…it’s Shante!) and Nemesis Bobby

Let me introduce you to my friend Shantizzle-

She makes my heart beat, burn, burst and sizzle

She’s a one-of-a-kind specialty, my Oreo Delight

Up in 607 we can rock it all night

long 

are the days when I watch from afar

while Shante ogles Nemesis-it’s pretty bizarre

because even though Nemesis has snatched up my girl

it’s a great thing happening in this messed up world

Especially now that I have two people to stalk

Ghost is back in action.

It is now about 4 am; this is what’s happened within the past 40 minutes of my shift:

First thing I heard was a quiet moan. It sounded like it was coming from the far end of the lobby close to the cstore. I checked and noone was in the lobby at all. 

The 2N door has now made the clashing noise 3 times, like the noise when you push open the doors. There has not been anyone entering through those doors to the lobby at all.

A few minutes ago, I heard a jingling pretty nearby to the desk. It was almost like keys but not quite as heavy. At this point I started getting really scared and legitimately freaking out.

This is the first time in almost a month that I’ve noticed any activity other than bangs from the roof. I’ll update again if it keeps up.

EDIT

4:11 am. Noise at the end of the lobby- not extremely loud but loud enough to hear when the lobby is empty. Sounded like the noise you make when you smack a hollow space of a wall.

Ghost Hunt

Finally, people are starting to believe. We told you all that it would happen this way. From swinging blinds to self-opening doors to crying children, it’s been a paranormal party around these parts. So here’s what’s happening:

This weekend, we’re getting the technology involved and also investigating Provincial House old-school style. Topics for consideration: 

-The Lucas Family drowning

-schizophrenic suicides

-the morgue

If you have any relevant information to contribute, please contact me!

The Truth about Llamas

So this is a note I posted on facebook a long time ago as I was telling my friend Ethan the truth about llamas. I feel like the word needs to be spread, hence this posting on YEMDS.

Via Facebook Chat:

Me, to Ethan at approximately 3 am:

I’m going to tell you a crazy story

and tomorrow you have to try and remember it

ready?

it can be a bedtime story

okay here it is

Long, long ago there were the most peaceful, elegant, and graceful creatures on the planet. They weren’t stupid like sloths, and they weren’t overly needy like cats. They mostly just ate grass and stuff and minded their business. They were called “llamas”.

But one day, from a planet far, far away, a foreign mass landed on the territory of the llamas. What ensued was a fate most terrible for the pure creatures. For from that foreign mass poured out thousands of crazed, evil alien masterminds and so began The Trail of Llama Tears.

There was anguish. There was bloodshed. It was a sight worthy of a Lifetime movie.

After seven days, the weakest of the llama clan had been weeded out. Those left behind no longer had strength to fight and so submitted to their rivals. It was on this day that The Transition began.

One by one, the aliens sucked out each llama’s soul and replaced it with one of their own kind, an act of possession and deception to follow. For the scheme of the alien race extended beyond controlling the llama clan.

A civilization of evil aliens is a most horrible thing. But a civilization of evil aliens disguised as a civilization of the immaculate creature that is llama is a most cruel and fatal weapon to humankind.

To this day, there exists no pure llama on earth. They are, sadly, all bloodsucking mutant rude aliens.

These creatures should be avoided at all costs-and remember, if it is absolutely imperative that you place yourself in the vicinity of a llama for any reason- may the gods in the heavens grace you with enough Spaghettio’s to ward the evil buggers off (as Spaghettio’s are, obviously, the only weakness of the evil llama aliens).

The end!

Ethan, I don’t feel like you’re listening…

 side note...this image is from google. Obviously I'm not the only one who knows the truth

People

An acquaintance of mine that I didn’t really know well at all just took the time to spend almost my entire double shift at the desk talking to me. It was really thoughtful, great conversation, and gave me a much better idea of who this person is. People can surprise you. Just put in a little effort; you’ll probably be happy you did.

Rant About the Ghost

As many of you probably already know, I, along with plenty other individuals at Oak, have experienced a vast array of supernatural happenings around these parts. Yet there are some…some who do not believe!!! And that’s cool, whatevs, ghostie will go for the nonbelievers first :P 

But really. 

It’s fine if you don’t think Oak is haunted; your stance on the matter doesn’t cause me to lose any sleep nor does it influence my personal opinion of your lovely personas. That being said, I’d really appreciate people at least taking what we say halfway seriously. Even though a lot of what we say is jokingly exaggerated, and even more can be explained by logical thought processes, there are still a few instances that I cannot seem to invalidate. 

1. Last semester, 9pm to midnight desk shift. Resident nearby explains that he just saw something move in the crate behind the desk. Us two on shift turn around to look at the crate as well, and all three of us watch a bowl fall right off the top. That crate is hardly ever touched; there is no reason it should have fallen. My coworker immediately ran off screaming, leaving me to fend for myself and fight off a possibly violent supernatural being.

2. Early January, I’m rearranging my room after moving back in for semester. I wake up the next morning. The screen on my TV has sort of fogged over from my humidifier being next to it all night. And…there is a small handprint on it. Too small to be mine. I even tried to recreate it the next night, but it was a bust.

3. A couple weeks ago I had gotten up around 5:30 to study for my testouts that day. I was just in my room about to go through my notes…but around 5:45 I heard knocking on the door to my room (not the suite door). It was 8 short raps. I go to answer it…noone is there. Every light in the suite except for mine is off. My suitemates are all still asleep and there’s not a peep coming from any of their rooms. Even by 7:00 when I left, they were still deep in slumber, it being Friday and all. This one freaked me out the most. 

Those three instances along with the dozen or so times I have heard (with confirmation from other residents) running/steps coming from the ceiling (we live on the top floor…) and random knocking in the lobby during this desk shift, have me convinced. 

The investigation is ongoing, folks. Feel free to contribute your own testimonies/opinions.

We keep it classy at the desk. Who needs one intact binder when you can have TWO perfectly good binder halves?!
But really…how does this even happen? Like, did somebody decide to punch it or something? Karate chop? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!  
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LG Electronics, Inc. LG RUMOR TOUCH

We keep it classy at the desk. Who needs one intact binder when you can have TWO perfectly good binder halves?!

But really…how does this even happen? Like, did somebody decide to punch it or something? Karate chop? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!  

January 28th

New Hit Single from Your Early Morning Desk Shift!
"Monster Monster more more
slap-happiness is what that’s for.
It’s getting too bright outside;
evil squirrels, it’s time to die!
cro-chet netflix play
I’m not tired anyway!
I wonder if dead textbooks float;
still waiting for my pet goat! *Yeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhh*”

I’m going to be famous someday.

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